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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Deep Breaths

I've been taking a lot of deep breaths since I found out that I'm pregnant. I always get embarrassed to tell people I'm pregnant because I feel like I have a scarlet letter on my chest. Anyway, I'm coming to terms with it. It came as such a shock because on November 1st we put $1500 into Roudy's "Flex Spending " medical account for 2009. That was to cover Jaxon's speech ($800 a year), getting Jaxon's tonsils out, and Roudy's VASECTOMY. Little did we know that I was already pregnant! There are so many very vain and selfish reasons that I didn't want another child, but as I'm getting used to the idea, I'm getting excited. The kids are really excited- they ALL want a little sister so hopefully I don't disappoint! Jordy is especially excited. She talks about the baby all the time- and always says "she" or "her". I always thought that I only wanted one girl, but I've realized what Jordy would be missing out on if she didn't have a sister. There's nothing like a sisterly bond. I keep telling Roudy that if he loved me he would hide my bathroom scale- but it's not missing yet. After losing 27 pounds and being 1 pound away from my goal weight, it's going to be horrible to watch that number creep back up. But, at the same time I keep thinking "Thank heavens I didn't get pregnant when I was almost 30 pounds heavier!" As expected my emotions are out of control, I have had a horrible headache for about 2 weeks now, and I'm exhausted. That's how Roudy knew I was pregnant. The night before we found out, I was laying in bed bawling. He asked me what was wrong and I just kept saying "I'm tired. I'm so exhausted." He was like "oh crap. You're pregnant!" I haven't sorted everything out in my head yet, like where we will actually put this baby and things like that, but I know everything happens for a reason and this is in the Lords hands now, not mine. Everything will be fine......

5 comments:

Murray Family said...

Oh wow, I guess that baby thought it had better hurry up when you guys were putting money toward his vasectomy. Haha :). It was cracking me up how you kept putting "pregnant" in little letters. So, how far along are you? That would be so fun if you could have a girl! But either one would be great.

Chy said...

Ok your house is HUGE compared to mine trust me you'll find room;0) I also think its funny that this little baby was like (picture it talking in heaven) ok I'll let mom feel better about her weight but then I gotta make a mad dash for earth cuz dads getting fixed! I know your stressed but try to remember those that have trouble getting pregnant, its such a blessing I'M EXCITED FOR YOU...even a little jealous:)

Woods: said...

Mindy...I think your emotions are totally normal and justified. You thought you were done and were ready to be for sure done and baby surprised you! Chy is right. What a blessing! You have done an awesome job getting to your goal weight and although it will probably be hard work again ('cause who isn't it hard work for?)...now you know you can totally do it. You've got so much support! We all love you and are excited for you. You are right...it is in the Lord's hands and He knows what you can and cannot handle.

Stephens Family said...

Ah Mindy, things WILL be okay...aren't you always saying how you love being preggers??? It is okay to be emotional and I was the same way when I said the word "pregnant"...I wonder why that is?? Stay positive and just remember that the Lord knows all things and doesn't make mistakes. You were suppossed to have 4 little kiddos. And think, it just means one more BSU fan and we can't have enough of them!! : )

Ryan and Krystal said...

Mindy...Congrats! That is exciting news. You have 3 older kids that will be a huge help. Hope you are feeling well!