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Monday, February 14, 2011

Learning To Enjoy The Journey

This is from a talk that was given in church yesterday. Unless you're a Mormon, you probably won't find it all that funny....

Happiness Is Right Now


Being twelve-years-old is a drag: I hate being a Boy Scout and I hate these long hikes. If I were only like my brother and I could go to High School and have a car and drive everywhere instead of walking, then I would be happy.

Gee, High School is a drag: Test every week. Sally likes you, not me. Gas costs so much and Mom and Dad never let me have the car. College would be an easy life. No parents to bug me. Then I would be happy.

Boy, I sure wish Mom and Dad were here: Mom could fix me a good, hot meal. So much homework. Never have any time. But soon I’ll be on a mission, that would be great! And I hope I go to a foreign country so I can go to the MTC and learn a new language. Then I’ll be happy.

If only I’d gone to an English speaking mission: Life here in the MTC is really a drag. I can’t pass off discussion 3. Get up just in time to polish my shoes and get to class in time to have an Elder step on them. Have to cut my hair every two weeks. I got a Dear John that everyone seemed to think was very funny. Spend three hours in the lunch line and can’t say “families” correctly. I can’t wait to get into the mission field to be with people and to teach them! Then I will be happy.

Boy, what I’d give to be back in the MTC where at least if I did speak English, someone could understand me. Here I sit in the meat markets of Uraguay and wonder what my girlfriend is doing. Wonder what Mom’s cooking for supper. Can’t really wait to get home again, get into life, get married, have some kids- really want some kids- and then I’ll be happy and life will be good like I always dreamed!

These kids are a pain! Always getting into stuff. Business is bad, never have a minute to myself anymore. The kids always need this or that. When I retire, and have all day at home with my wife, then I’ll be happy and life will be good like I always dreamed.

Boy, I wish those kids would come home and visit sometimes. The place seems so empty with everyone gone. There’s nothing to do. Don’t have the strength and enthusiasm I used to. Gee, I wish I was a Boy Scout again. I remember when I was twelve-years-old and a Boy Scout. Those were the best days of my life…….

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Top 10 Reasons Why Trick or Treating Is Better Than Sex


The Top 10 Reasons Why Trick or Treating Is Better Than Sex

1. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

2. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

3. The uglier you look the easier it is to get some.

4. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

5. It's ok when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

6. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

7. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

8. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

9. Less guilt the morning after.

10. YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Spiritual Thought For The Week

God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through;
God hath not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.

But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way.
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love....

Monday, July 19, 2010

Mutton Bustin'- July 18 2010

This year Arco's big weekend, "Atomic Days," was July 17-19. Roudy got selected to go to Pugent Sound with work that weekend, but the kids and I headed to Arco and stayed with Roudy's parents anyway. Before Roudy left he tried to talk all the kids into doing the Mutton Bustin' at the rodeo. Trason was all for it, Jordy wasn't having any part of it, and Jaxon said maybe- he was sort of uninterested since he won it two years ago. Friday night we got to the Rodeo and none of the kids would do it no matter what I tried to bribe them with. So they watched the other kids ride the sheep and then both boys decided maybe they would try it on Saturday night.
Saturday morning Arco always has a big parade. A plane flys very close to the ground and drops 1000 ping pong balls onto Main street. The kids gather as many as they can and then after the parade is over they take them to the Sheriff's Office and receive a 50 cent piece for each ball they turn in. So, Friday night this was Trason's prayer, "Please help me to get lots of candy in the parade tomorrow. Please help me to hang on tight when I ride that sheep. Amen" It was so funny to hear what he had on his mind.
Saturday when we get to the rodeo Trason kept going back and forth on whether or not he wanted to ride a sheep. I signed both boys up anyway and thought they could back out later if they wanted to. I took the boys over to the shoots and let them watch a few of the kids ride. By that point Trason decided there was no way he was riding a sheep! So, I threw Jaxon down to Roudy's dad, who always helps with the rodeo, and he rode awesome! He got 78 points - the highest score of both nights! Then they were looking for another rider and none of the kids were wanting to go, so I threw Trason down into the shoots with Roudy's dad. Before he even knew what was happening he was on a sheep- and every bit as quickly was thrown off and rolled over! He was so mad! The announcer says, "Boy, he's not very happy with you, mom!" He had dirt up his nose, all over his face, in his hair...everywhere! He wasn't mad very long and decided that he was glad he did it. He was running back over to the stands where grandma and his cousins were sitting and he jumped up in the air and yelled, "I nailed it!" I about died laughing. He didn't "nail it"- got got 41 points!
Jaxon had to do a ride off with the other 6 highest scores. He still rode the farthest and longest, but he slipped a little to the side that time. After he finally fell off the announcer yells, "Man oh man that kids got some grip!" The whole crowd was screaming for him. It was pretty awesome! But because he fell to the side he only got 69 points. There was a little girl that rode after him who got 81 points because her sheep jumped when it came out of the shoots. She fell off, but I think they let her win because she was littler. I put some video coverage on because the boys wanted me to, but it's not good coverage. I couldn't go out into the arena to record because I had to be at the shoots with the boys, so I recorded from there. Plus I just recorded with my point and shoot camera.


Jaxon waiting for his turn during the "Ride Off." All of the other kids were dressed in wranglers and cowboy boots and hats and chaps and the whole nine yards. I love that my little city slicker went in there and rode the best! Two years ago when he won it, he was wearing a cut off shirt and shorts and sandals!
Excited to ride

Jordy Sue watching her brothers (and looking like a rugrat!)

Trason's face after he got rolled by the sheep! This picture really doesn't' even do him justice!


video video video

Friday, March 19, 2010

Pinewood Derby 2010

Jaxon turned 8 in December, which means he's now old enough to be a Cub Scout. With that comes the Pinewood Derby. Each boy makes a car out of a block of wood and then they race it down the track. Can I just say how silly I think this tradition is? There isn't a mother out there that would let their 8 year old son use the tools needed to make a car out of a wood. So the dad's get stuck with making the car, usually the night before "weigh-ins." All that being said, it's still a good time! :) Roudy took Jaxon's block of wood out to work and had one of the carpenters cut it into a "car." The guy that helped Roudy has made 9 winning cars and he's even won State once. (I had no idea there was "State" for the Pinewood Derby.) Jaxon had an awesome car and we couldn't wait to see it race.....except once we got there we realized that it wasn't rolling straight. It kept pulling to the left, which made it rub on the track. Needless to say, he didn't win any of the races. He got 2nd a couple times, but that was it. When we got home Roudy took the wheels off switched them around......and the car rolled straight. Oh well. Live and learn, right?

Jaxon with his car