This is from a talk that was given in church yesterday. Unless you're a Mormon, you probably won't find it all that funny....
Happiness Is Right Now
Being twelve-years-old is a drag: I hate being a Boy Scout and I hate these long hikes. If I were only like my brother and I could go to High School and have a car and drive everywhere instead of walking, then I would be happy.
Gee, High School is a drag: Test every week. Sally likes you, not me. Gas costs so much and Mom and Dad never let me have the car. College would be an easy life. No parents to bug me. Then I would be happy.
Boy, I sure wish Mom and Dad were here: Mom could fix me a good, hot meal. So much homework. Never have any time. But soon I’ll be on a mission, that would be great! And I hope I go to a foreign country so I can go to the MTC and learn a new language. Then I’ll be happy.
If only I’d gone to an English speaking mission: Life here in the MTC is really a drag. I can’t pass off discussion 3. Get up just in time to polish my shoes and get to class in time to have an Elder step on them. Have to cut my hair every two weeks. I got a Dear John that everyone seemed to think was very funny. Spend three hours in the lunch line and can’t say “families” correctly. I can’t wait to get into the mission field to be with people and to teach them! Then I will be happy.
Boy, what I’d give to be back in the MTC where at least if I did speak English, someone could understand me. Here I sit in the meat markets of Uraguay and wonder what my girlfriend is doing. Wonder what Mom’s cooking for supper. Can’t really wait to get home again, get into life, get married, have some kids- really want some kids- and then I’ll be happy and life will be good like I always dreamed!
These kids are a pain! Always getting into stuff. Business is bad, never have a minute to myself anymore. The kids always need this or that. When I retire, and have all day at home with my wife, then I’ll be happy and life will be good like I always dreamed.
Boy, I wish those kids would come home and visit sometimes. The place seems so empty with everyone gone. There’s nothing to do. Don’t have the strength and enthusiasm I used to. Gee, I wish I was a Boy Scout again. I remember when I was twelve-years-old and a Boy Scout. Those were the best days of my life…….
